━ Lost till you're found, swim till you drown. ━
Friday, March 16, 2012
thought snippet on my last few days of freedom | ♪ sakanafangirl 1:44 AM

I often used to say that I wanted to die/kill myself, frivolously or not, but because of Sakanaction I no longer do. The desire and anticipation of watching them perform live has become a strong motivation to live and treat life seriously, no matter what happens. I do not know if the strength of this motivation will die once that wish is fulfilled, but at this current moment I am so grateful that this band exists.

Sunday, March 04, 2012
jumbled feelings | ♪ sakanafangirl 6:30 AM

Initially, you buy a concert DVD because you love the songs and you want to watch what it's like live.

And then you watch. It's pretty awesome.

This causes you to sink deeper into the fandom.

And then you watch again. It's really, really awesome.

This causes you to think, I need to actually watch a live.

But unfortunately, that isn't a reality within reach.

And so you buy some more to fill up that hole in your heart.

You thought it'd surpress the feelings of wanting to watch it live... but all it does is to make you go crazy thinking that you could and should have been there, but why weren't you?

Oh yeah, Because you can't. Commitments and restrictions.


Yes, i'm talking to myself.
It's apparently about 6am now and I was up watching my Sakanaction DVDs. Such complex feelings it gives me. That isn't to say that I don't enjoy watching these DVDs. In fact, it's because I enjoy them so much, it hurts not having been there. It's unexpectedly kind of painful.

Two years ago when I first heard Aruku Around, I had no idea this band was going to be such a big part of my life now. I mean, all sorts of things involving them, such as watching them live one day, have become my life goals.

And it's the only reason that I am going to pull through the rest of this tedious, suffocating polytechnic education to the end, graduate and fly off to Japan and watch them. I am terribly dreading the upcoming internship for a multitude of reasons, the most important one being that it has nothing to do with what I wanted to do in future. But I keep telling myself that I can't screw this up and that pay i'm getting will fund that trip I want.

In a way, Sakanaction has become my motivation for everything at current.

But then, this scares me at the same time. What will happen after I watch them live? Where do I go from there? I honestly don't know. And I'm afraid of the proverbial downward crash after having seen them live. You know, withdrawal symptoms, and the "now what". Well, obviously, I will want to watch even more. But I don't live in Japan, and I can't stay there for eternity. It does suck a lot to be a foreigner...these lucky Japanese people don't even know how good they have it.

I've become much too obsessed with the frontman too...*sighs*. I'll just try to keep the fangirl spread from this blog. When I go all fangirl over him, I think people are secretly throwing up.

And no, he's not the reason why I love the band and the music. It's the other way around. Get your causal time order right, people.

Saturday, February 18, 2012
goodbye sdn. | ♪ sakanafangirl 4:11 PM

With last night's concert, I've realised something about myself. My greatest fear isn't insects, heights, fire, or death...it's the fear of losing memories that I treasure.

I find myself constantly afraid that I'll forget the times I had fun with my friends, my childhood, all the concerts and my feelings during them, and all the little things I got to do while I had the opportunity to visit Japan.

There are so many memories I want to keep for life, but inevitably they get lost over time. And I'd really hate for that to happen. It's these happy times that keep me alive, and able to withstand the tough times. Of course, if one day I did forget everything, I would never know what I had lost anyway. That's the most tragic part.

Last night was really a mixed bag of emotions, as I knew with certainty that was the last time I'd ever see them. I also knew I'd never get to see that one girl I liked most, and it made me feel regret for not treasuring the previous time. I did everything I could to make sure I would enjoy this last time... yet inside me, I couldn't prevent the thoughts of how I'd never have this opportunity again. I felt a little like I failed as a fan.

When they started crying on stage before the last song, I started crying as well... It was just so heartbreaking. I had to view the very last song through tears and I couldn't make out what I was seeing. During the handshake session, some of the girls were crying so badly all their makeup was smudged. I was really honoured however, to be one of the 12 people presenting the girls a final token of appeciation, a small bouquet and a photo card. At the bus bay, we got to wave goodbye to them as well...

And that's the last I'll ever see of them.


お願い、解散しないで...

Sunday, February 05, 2012
少女、ふたたび / 南波志帆 | ♪ sakanafangirl 6:10 PM

耳コピ歌詞です。間違ってたらごめんなさい(・Д・;;)

ルーフトップ見上げた空には 今日も天井がないから
ずっと どこまでも行けそうな気がした
行かなくちゃ

昨日の未来 明日の過去 私はどこにいるの
鏡の前 鏡の向こう 難しく考えちゃうよ
桜の風が踊るように 私の気持ち渦巻く
ドアノブに 手を伸ばしたら

ふたたび

ルーフトップ見上げた空には 今日も天井がないから
ずっと どこまでも行けそうな気がした
「待って」だなんて言えない 季節は待ってくれない
きっと 追いかけ続けなきゃいけない
行かなくちゃ

一人がいい 一人は嫌だ 私はどっちでいたい
心読みたい 読みたくない 心は読んだことない
桜を吐いて捨てるように 私の気持ちも変わる
正解は 背中合わせの

まぼろし

ルーフトップ見上げた空には 今日も天井がないから
ずっと 終わらない青さが怖くなった
ちょっと 悲しくなっても 泣きながら笑ってみます
両方とも 本当の私だよね

光と影の 暖かく冷たい 真ん中 そこで私は生きている 

ルーフトップ見上げた空には 今日も天井がないから
ずっと どこまでも行けそうな気がした
can't stop 見上げた夜空に 星が瞬くみたいに
もっと輝く 私でいたいから

「待って」だなんて言えない 季節は待ってくれない
きっと 追いかけ続けなきゃいけない
行かなくちゃ
行かなくちゃ

ふたたび 私は翔けるよ
ふたたび 私は翔けるの

Saturday, February 04, 2012
double standards | ♪ sakanafangirl 8:21 PM

it's really mean that they can always make stupid jokes when i say stuff but when i do the same to them they start scolding me.

i was so upset i started crying, but i know that was more of the last straw before i couldn't hold it any longer, rather than the real reason behind the tears. i was usually able to handle how mean they are, but this time i was already at the edge after a crazy, stressful, sleepless week at school.

it actually caused me to fully realise what the other group is always saying about this one and why they split.

still, i've always known that they just have different opinions about things and they can't get along because of that. it's not because one side is more right than the other. i wanted peace and understanding between both groups to no avail, and in doing so it kind of left me in the middle, because I wasn't choosing a side to hang out with and trying to maintain a balance.

one side is always so mean but they actually talk about interesting stuff and listen to my grieviances.

the other side is nice and is more comfortable to be with, but they sort of have a one-track mind and only talk about the same things all the time.

times like these, it feels like there isn't a place for me.

no matter where i go, i'll be forever alone :(

i don't really have any friends from school or anywhere that i can truly talk about anything with, either.

and you could say that that's why there's family, but i'm not close to my family at all.
i avoid talking to them as much as possible because almost every conversation in this household ends up in a fight. mostly, nobody wins and everybody goes back to their rooms and sulks angrily. better to keep my earphones plugged in and block out all voices.

it really sucks not having a true friend. there are close ones, but i would hesitate to call any one of them a true friend.

maybe it's all my fault in the first place.



"all humans are alone, we just use each other to alleviate that loneliness"

Sunday, January 08, 2012
2011 lookback on music | ♪ sakanafangirl 8:40 PM

Top 5 Favourite Albums Released in 2011

5. relight - androp
A mostly laidback, relaxing album but with some punch in it. The music variates enough to keep the interest. The best song off this was definitely ShowWindow. It's terribly addictive even from the first play. I also recommend Yurariri and Relight, which are easy to listen to and just really nice. 
Also worth a mention are the music videos for the two promo songs in this - Bell has an interactive game music video, and Bright Siren has a creative music video which uses 250 DSLRs from Canon. They're on YouTube.

4. World of Fantasy - capsule
Far surpassing previous effort PLAYER, World of Fantasy has an overall sound so consistent that I can't help but be amazed at the effort that went into it. The entire album flows really darn well and sounds like a one-hour mix people play in clubs. My favourite tracks are WORLD OF FANTASY, WHAT iS LOVE, PRIME TIME, and STRIKER (extended-mix)
This is perhaps Nakata Yasutaka's best work of 2011. Everything he did with Kyary Pamyu Pamyu felt like it lacked effort even though they were catchy. Meanwhile, Perfume's album JPN majorly failed to impress me at all, save for one track. /sighs/

3. Kerguelen Vortex (ケルゲレンボルテックス) - Aural Vampire
I'm not into the darkwave genre at all, but Aural Vampire never fails to get me with their addictive, cool tracks. This generally went largely ignored since it was underpromoted as usual and I almost missed it had it not been for a review website I regularly read. Anyway, it surprised me how good this was as I liked all the tracks on it and that's pretty rare. 

2. Shinkokyuu (新呼吸)  - Base Ball Bear
I didn't take much note of Base Ball Bear even though I've heard of them for a long time, but my interest was sparked through being a fan of Sakanaction (Ichiro has worked with him a couple times, and they are buddies despite a 4-year age gap). Anyway, long story short, I began listening to them not long ago but I've been impressed with every album I listened to, including this one. 
Those previously released in singles are among my favourites, but my strongest favourite has to be album track kodoku no synthesizer. Just a really really great album overall.

1. DocumentaLy - Sakanaction (サカナクション)
Let's be honest here - what else did you expect? Even if overused, the best word to describe this album to me is 'flawless'. I'm 100% serious that this is their best album to date and an absolutely spectacular work. 
Okay, I may be completely biased as I'm such a huge fan of them, but hey, I have iTunes Japan (Rewind 2011 - Best Album) and The Japan Times review backing me up about the quality of this album. It even says that Rookie is "potentially the best Japanese song of 2011".
Yes, my favourite track is still Rookie, but if we're talking album tracks, Monochrome Tokyo, Endless, and Document are amazing.

Top 10 Favourite Singles Released in 2011

10. Zassou no Uta (雑草のうた) - Buono!
Not so much that title track was amazing or anything, but all 3 songs included were good. In particular, JUICY HE@RT stood out and should have been the A-side. It is still a solid single otherwise for the rock idol trio, whose music seemed to go downhill after this.

9. Flying Get (フライングゲット) - AKB48
In my opinion, 2011 was a weak year for AKB48 musically as most were kind of mediocre. It succeeded in reducing my interest in AKB48 like never before. To be honest, it's not really going great being a fan of an idol group because the typical cheery idol songs put me off. However, the one single that I was happy with was Flying Get. The title track itself gets increasingly addictive over time and it helped that I liked the drama the song was tied to.

8. Silent Scream - girl next door
I waited for this single to drop because of the title track. The official previews on YouTube piqued my interest because the arrangement of the song was beautiful. But in the end, I fell in love with the b-side fallin' angel. It's a powerful track with synths and beats that work really well. They've not been selling very well this year for some reason. I wonder if it's because every song they used to make sounded the same and now they've finally moved on from that, people don't like it.

7. Spice (スパイス) - Perfume
I was very disappointed with Spice at first and wondering why the hell they didn't just make GLITTER the A-side because it's so obviously superior. It still bothers me now but not as much since I've gotten used to Spice and it doesn't sound half-bad now. It used to make my head hurt. But in any case, GLITTER is what makes this #7 on my list.

6. Kodona no Kaidan (こどなの階段) - Nanba Shiho (南波志帆)
I shall begin by declaring that Kodona no Kaidan is darn cute and addictive. The song is actually a collaborative effort from Koide Yusuke of Base Ball Bear, and Yamaguchi Ichiro of Sakanaction, which is part of why I love the song. 
But really, I think these three have something special going on, if only they'd work together more often. Shiho's vocals are unique and lend an indescribable X factor to an already good composition. I can't imagine anyone else singing this song as it would positively mar it. The song was made for her. 
The b-sides are remastered from her indies days if I remember right, and they are kind of generic-cute. Not awesome but it completes the single in a nice way.

5. Liar - TOKYO GIRLS' STYLE (東京女子流)
I am so happy TGS continued with the sound from Limited addiction. They've had a pretty good streak of songs from debut till now, but Liar brings up the level. I've nothing to say about the b-side because it doesn't appeal to me.
I wish they would sell more. They're super under-appreciated but I guess they're kind of struggling to get out of the traditional idol mould. They want to be seen as real artists, but because they're so young, their main fanbase are still idol wotas. Yet, there exists many wotas  who don't like them because they're not making typical idol songs. :/ 

4. yoakemae - Base Ball Bear
yoakemae yoakemae yoakemae yoakemae... ♪ Ugh. It's addictive and has great guitar playing going on. Helped along by the repetitive lyrics, it's currently my favourite BBB song. I liked the music video for the song too since it was kind of like about procrastination but so artistically directed. 

3. Sonic Fireworks - avengers in sci-fi
Still a favourite song of mine because of the outer-spacey feeling it gives while being so darn addictive. It's the band's signature sound to make music with a sort of other-universe feeling, but this seems to be their most "mainstream" song to date, with the typical lyric structure. It's amazing anyway and I hope they continue along this direction. Oh and before I forget, the b-side Odd Moon Shining is also well done, putting this near the top of my list.

2. Sit! Stay! Wait! Down!/Love Story - Amuro Namie (安室奈美恵)
Ironically, even though this is a double A-side single, neither of the A-sides are the reason for this single being this high. It's the b-side, Higher, which steals all the attention. Of course I'm not saying that the other 3 songs on the single were terrible. They're very good, but by Namie's standards, not fantastic. Higher is what pulls this single all the way here. Powerful, light and fun all at the same time, it's a masterpiece.

1. Rookie (ルーキー) - Sakanaction (サカナクション)
There's just no other position for this single! I don't know how a song could ever be so perfect in so many ways, but Sakanaction did it and passed with flying colours. I've talked about Rookie so many times, there's really nothing else to say. So moving on to the b-sides, since the A-side doesn't make the single alone. 
Slow Motion has grown on me very well and is my favourite b-side of the DocumentaLy era. I don't know why the band seems to skip over it a lot, whether in selecting songs for the album or performing live. I only know they performed it once (in a festival that will never be shown) which is sad. I'm gonna guess that Ichiro prefers not to sing the chorus live as it's pretty high pitched for a guy.
montage is an instrumental track that somehow sounds very oriental (more Chinese than anything) to me. It took quite a long time to warm up to it but I think it's good now. It combines a lot of instrument sounds well, though it won't beat the other amazing instrumental tracks that Sakanaction have made.

Favourite Song 2011
Rookie

Favourite PV 2011
Sonic Fireworks

And that concludes this long post! \o/

Saturday, December 31, 2011
Androidから投稿 | ♪ sakanafangirl 3:34 AM

おはよー!(⌒0⌒)/~~
はじめてスマホから更新です。

I bought my new phone lastweek. It's Sony Ericsson again since I like them haha. Now typing this from my phone :)

Aaand it's time to turn in...

Turn the lights off, turn the lights on

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